Day 5: Write a blog to the person you miss the most.

Dad,

Hi.  Its your daughter.  How are things in Heaven?  What is it like there?  I cant believe its been over 15 years since you've been gone!  Travis is doing good.  He is the choir and youth director at Springhill now.  He also has 3 great boys!  Tommy is 13 and looks just like you did when you were little (BTW: do ya like the name??), Tanner is 10, and Trent is 6!  You'd be really proud of them!  We make sure and tell them about you all the time.  Tommy and Tanner have both accepted Christ into their hearts!  Trent has been asking questions lately so I'm sure its just a matter of time!  But being in Heaven, I'm sure you already know this :)  Mom gave Tommy your Army jacket.  You were so skinny back then.  She has given them different things over the years.  She gave me your .22 pistol that you bought in Vietnam.  I treasure it more than you know!  I've always said if I could go back and have one conversation with you, it would be about Vietnam.  I was just a single-minded kid when you left.  I didn't realize how much I would want to know one day...Anyway, Mom is doing okay.  She still misses you so much!  We all do.  But Mom died a little when she lost you.  I know its silly, but I try to make up for your absence in a way.  Like on Mother's Day, Christmas and Birthdays... I try to get her something really nice cause I know you would have.  Our family isn't the same since you've gone... but our family is tremendously blessed to have had you.  You were the real thing, Dad.

I got married almost 2 years ago!  Travis walked me down the isle.  Did you hear the conversation I had with you while I was waiting in that room by myself?  Well I meant what I said.  Mom really needed you that day.  But I know you sent a special angel to watch over her and comfort her.  We live in Sheridan now.  I'm glad we aren't too far from Mom and Travis and them.  We get to see each other pretty often.  We don't have any kids yet, but we are hoping.  I really hope we have a little girl.  Maybe you could put in a good word? :) We go to a really GREAT church in Sheridan.  I think you'd really love it!  I am still singing.  I can still remember the first time I sang a special as an "adult" by myself.  I was 13.  And you cried.  Well I wish you could hear me now.  One of these days I promise I will write a song about you Daddy. 

I know how blessed I was to have had a Dad like you.  I know how much I was loved by you, and that's something no one can ever take from me!  Thank you so much for making sure we were raised in a Christian home and for making sure we were in church!  I will always remember your tenderness, your soft spoken tone, your grin, your sense of humor.  I will always remember the time I tried to pull your wallet out of your pocket inside Walmart..HAHA.  I will always remember all the fun you and Mom used to have together.  I love how you got mad when I got hurt; not mad at me but mad because I hurt myself and that upset you.  I love how I could smell your cologne everyday before I got up to get ready for school.  I love how you would leave lunch money for me, even if I already had it.  You were such a hard worker and you always made sure your family was provided for... I HATE that I didn't get to tell you all the things I should have.  I HATE that I didn't get to know you as an adult.  I HATE that you had to go.  But you received the ultimate promotion for a Christian that day.  I'm glad there is no worry in Heaven because I know you would be.  God is making sure we are taken care of and that we have what we need.

Feel free to peek in on me now and then, if that's allowed.  And give Grandma & Grandpa Gates, Grandpa Oden, and Sharon a hug for me!  I'll see you soon, Dad!

Love,
Jessi